beLIeVE

We live what we believe.

If I believe I am a failure, then I will live my life disappointing people, I will be miserable, and I will not accomplish my goals.  If I believe that I am not beautiful, then I will live my life focusing on my flaws, comparing myself to others, and wasting my valuable resources of time and money trying to be something that I am not.  If I believe I can't, then I won't.

We live what we believe.

If I believe the words of Proverbs 3: 3-4 (ESV), then I will bind steadfast love and faithfulness around my neck and write them on my heart so that I will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man.  If I believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), that I am God's workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), and that I am precious and chosen by Him (1 Peter 2:4), then I will live a life holy, honorable, worthy, satisfied, and beautiful.  If I believe "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13 ESV), then I CAN do ALL THINGS. 

We live what we believe.

"We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ..." 

--2 Corinthians 10:5

More Trials of Trust

Nothing challenges my faith more than trust. It's not that I don't trust God, because I most fervently do, it's that I don't put my trust in Him. I struggle daily with this. I try to control, manipulate, and badger God instead of simply putting my trust in Him and His Will for me. Ha! "Simply" I say. Simply and trust shouldn't even be seen in the same sentence.

Trust isn't as simplistic as I'd like to think. If it was, then why can't I put my whole life into God's hands and go on without another thought about it? Why can't I just entirely surrender myself to Him as I should? Why do I question, doubt, stress, worry, and impatiently pace about in my mind over things I really can't control no matter how much I'd like to think I can? If trust was simplistic, then God wouldn't ever need to test me.

Daily I hear God say to me, "Trust me," and pretty much daily I fail to fulfill this "simple" request. I put my trust in lies, insecurities, routines, my own limited knowledge and experiences, what I can see and touch, and in worldly things. I try to limit God, humanize Him, and lessen His love and care for me. This is why I need and welcome the daily trials of trust.

God is trustworthy. He is more knowledgeable, more powerful, more gracious, more loving, more caring, more concerned, more capable, more miraculous, more wondrous, and more everything. That's where the simplicity of trust can come in--knowing God is just "more." He's more than any situation, circumstance, worry, doubt, stress, struggle, failure, disappointment, joy, blessing, and plan. He is more, and if I would trust in Him, then I can be more too.

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." (Romans 8:37 ESV)

Listening to His Sweet Voice

If I want to be more intentional in living my life for Christ, then I must listen to His voice. Romans 8 talks about living by the Spirit, and when we do, we must distinguish the Spirit's voice from all the other voices in our heads. I was reminded of this during the early hours of this morning.

Last night I went out to dinner with my lovely mother to a very nice restaurant. We ordered an appetizer of mussels. They were absolutely delicious! As we were eating and talking, I grabbed one of the shells and a (what I thought was silly at the time) thought came in my head, "Don't eat that one. It'll make you sick." As quickly as it came, I dismissed it. Well, guess what? Yep, I was sick in the early morning hours and throughout most of today.

Was that just a way for God to say, "See! I still speak. Are you listening?" Obviously, I have not been. What would've happened if I didn't dismiss that thought and tossed that one particular mussel aside? I can 100% confidently say I would not have been sick today. How do I know? Romans 8 was my devotion this morning, and I feel God has used this small,painful yet preventable lesson to teach me that He still speaks. I just need to start listening more to His sweet voice. If I easily dismiss it when it comes to little warnings with food (and why wouldn't He warn us of something that would unknowingly harm us), then how often have I dismissed it when it has come to big things?

I know one thing after this experience: no matter how silly it seems, I'm going to heed to His instructions. I don't want the unpleasantries that come when I don't listen. Intentionally tune-in to His station, and nothing but sweet, saving sounds will come.

Good Intentions or Hot Air?

I pulled out a journal from my nightstand today that I had begun back in November with the good intentions of rededicating myself and committing myself to a more intimate relationship with my Lord and Savior. I wrote that first entry with such spirit and high hopes. I feel ashamed for not keeping to those intentions and for basically blowing a lot of hot air from my heart. Good intentions really aren't good unless they are lived out.

I realize I have no one to blame except myself. True, the devil will attack us more the closer we try to get to the Lord, but ultimately we are responsible for the choices we make. I made a choice to give the firstfruits of every day to God by dedicating some quality time in His Word, and yet, I have also made the choice in the last couple of months to blow that time off with a quick five minute devotion. If I was sincere about giving my firstfruits of every day, then I should be spending the first 2.4 hours with God. (That might just have to be something I work up to...can you imagine, though, spending every morning in worship and meditation with God for 2.4 hours!? Just think how equip you'd be for the day!) I obviously have some work to do.

I suppose God doesn't mind that I have intentions to improve my relationship with Him, and I'm certain He appreciates any effort I try to make. But I believe He would rather have any thought of Him or any act I do for Him no matter how small or insignificant in appearance than to not have any at all. I know I appreciate the smallest of gestures from others even if it's just a quick "Hello," because then I feel affirmed, acknowledged, and cared for in those little moments.

So, I once more intend to draw closer to my Lord whether it be in the quickest, most sincere of thoughts or in a 2.4 hour devotion (aiming high!). I know one thing for sure, I want to live for Christ. He really is worth living for.

Running an Intentional Race

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised." --Hebrews 10:36

As I think about living more intentionally for Christ and not for myself, I realize what a challenge that is and has been and will be. I bet Paul after his conversion had to rethink his whole way of living. I suppose that's why I love his writings and teachings of running the race and putting on the full armor of God. He knew the biggest challenge of life is living a life for Christ, but he also knew it was the most rewarding.

"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21 ESV)

I am a runner. I love it. I love the feeling when I accomplish a long distance that seemed difficult at the start. The beginning is always the most challenging for me because I'm anxious to get it over with, my muscles are tight, and my body seems to reject any form of exercise. But once I overcome the ailments that the beginning of my run presents, I coast pretty well.

Approaching the end destination, though, can be difficult on some days. I may be out of breath, dehydrated, not had eaten well that day, have a blister, or cramped due to one of the aforementioned issues. If I push through all of that and persevere, I feel more successful on those running days than on the ones I coast through. I also know that if I stop and walk, which would be less painful and easier, then I feel defeated and unaccomplished even if I do finish the long distance.

Intentional living is so much like running a race or running a long distance. It's difficult to start because you have to go against everything you do naturally. You have to make an effort where there wasn't any effort before. You have to push through the trials that come (and trials will come because Satan does not want you serving the Lord). You have to keep running even if walking would be easier. Walking would still get you to the finish line, but you've just prolonged the race and the prize. Plus when you finish a race, a new one is waiting for you to begin. With intentional living, every day is a different race and a different distance.

As I write this, I can see why I have been having difficulty running my race of intentionality. I've been strapping on my running shoe but I haven't been tying them tight with the readiness I need for the run. Instead of running with the wind (a.k.a. the Holy Spirit), I've been running against it. I haven't been paying attention to the signs along the course, I've been going in my own direction. Because of that, I've had difficulty completing the race. The more off track I run, the longer I make the race.

I need to stay on course by spending time with God and His Word every morning so that I know the direction I need to take in the race that day and so that I have the power to run. I need to maintain my pace by praying unceasingly throughout the race. I need to strengthen my faith muscles by following the signs that say "Uphill battle ahead: Stay faithful. God is." I need to rehydrate at the water stations along the way by receiving the blessings of serving someone other than myself. I need to push through what is difficult and the desire to do what I want because in the end if I run the race God had designed for me and intended for me to run, I will receive the prize He has promised and I will hear Him say the sweet words of accomplishment, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it." (1 Corinthians 9:24 ESV)

Complaining vs.Thanksgiving, A Challenge

All week my seventh graders and I have been studying the Israelites in the wilderness after they had crossed the Red Sea.  The complaining that came from the Israelites' lips is astonishing.  They had witnessed the most phenomenal miracles of God and had experienced first hand His protection and provisions; and yet, they repeatedly grumbled and complained and even said things like, "If only we had died in Egypt!"  In other words, the Israelites would have rather been enslaved again than to be with the Lord in freedom.  Hm, sounds familiar...

Grumbling and complaining comes from fear, doubt, dissatisfaction, insecurity, and uncertainty.  It is self-centered and prideful.  It is spitting in God's face and saying, "What You have for me, Lord, is not good enough and I do not trust you."  Sounds extreme, doesn't it?  Well, sin is extreme. 

What good comes out of complaining?  Absolutely nothing.  All it does is cause rifts in relationships, depression, and more darkness.

Thanksgiving, on the other hand, comes from appreciation, trust, security, hope, and knowledge that the Lord is good.  It is Christ-centered and humble.  It is praising God and saying, "What You have for me, Lord, is enough and I trust you with all that I have and with all that I am."  It is intentional and honorable.

What good comes out of thanksgiving?  EVERYTHING.  "For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving." 1 Timothy 4:4

God has challenged me to replace complaining with thanksgiving.  Instead of saying, "I didn't have any time today."  I should be saying, "Thank you, God, for giving me time in the day to do what I needed to do."  Instead of saying, "I didn't get my break today."  I should be saying, "Thank you, Lord, that I was able to serve You today by helping someone out."  Instead of saying, "I have so much work to do."  I should be saying, "Lord, thank you for giving me work to do.  Continue to bless it."  What an attitude changer!  Already, I am humbled by these thoughts and anxious to praise God.

I challenge you, too.  When the urge to complain comes, stop and replace it with thanksgiving.  If you do so, I warn you to be prepared to receive more eternal blessings.  God is so good to His faithful servants!

One last thing...
Trusting in God means waiting on Him even when we cannot see the Promised Land. 

Wait in peace and with thankful hearts.  All God's best to you.

Bitterness is Subtle Tangling of the Soul

I'm ashamed to admit, but I know I must, that I've been bitter towards God.  The veil has been over my eyes these last few weeks; and so, I haven't noticed the bitterness until God revealed it to me this morning through His Word.  Consequently, He tore the veil.  In my despair of this realization (because, really, who am I to be bitter towards God?!), He touched me with the sweetness of His forgiveness and redemption.  How undeserving am I to receive such sweetness!  How grateful I am to have it!  Praise be to God!  Therefore, the least I can do is to share how this bitterness came to be.

Bitterness is like taking your dog for a walk on a clear, sunny day.  Nothing seems out-of-place.  Everything is quite fine.  Then, when you get home and bend down to take off the leash, you discover tiny little burrs all over your dog's soft fur.  Your dog seems not to mind, but you can see the tangled mess the burrs cause.  So, you spend the next hour or two tediously pulling each burr out so that your dog's fur can be silky and soft once more.  Bitterness is subtle tangling of the soul.

I was unaware of it these past few weeks because it began ever so quietly.  It began with not getting what I want. (Oh, how I invited the burrs to cling to my fur!)  It multiplied by comparing myself to others (dissatisfaction added to the bitterness as well as jealousy).  I became tangled even more, then; because as the burrs of bitterness daily clung, I loosened my faith and trust in God and who He is.  How do I know this?  I made these last few weeks all about me. 

For example, I'd been reluctant to spend time with God and serve Him.  In fact, my devotion time wasn't about spending time with Him and investing in that relationship.  It was about getting "my fix" for the day.  The time I gave to God was short and quick.  I wasn't being authentic.  I was using God.  (I've noticed, now, this flaw and pattern in me that when I am bitter towards someone, it's usually because I'm hurt by him or her, and my reaction to that hurt is to use him or her in order to make that hurt go away.  Of course, this approach is a total fiasco.  No healing takes place in this, and no bitterness is removed.) 

To be clear, most certainly God hasn't hurt me in any way.  I have only felt hurt because I am limited in my understanding.  I have not been "trusting in the Lord with all my heart and leaning not on my own understanding" as Proverbs 3:5 so wisely advises me to do.  So, instead of allowing the freshness of trust to comb through me, I've allowed the prickliness of bitterness to cling on. 

God in His goodness and mercy waited until today, when I could sit still, to begin carefully removing the burrs of bitterness from my soul.  He's been so gentle in His approach, and I have been so humbled and grateful as He gingerly and meticulously removes every burr.  Love certainly covers a multitude of sin and untangles it from our souls.  Glory to God, who cares for us to be tangled-free!