Joy and Trials Don't Mix, Do They?

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith 
produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

This has been a year of trials for me.  Trials I didn't want.  Trials I'm sure I asked for, and trials I didn't even see coming.  Joy was not a part of any of these trials.  Is it ever?  There were times, in fact, during a trial I said to God, "I don't want this."  I'm sure I disappointed Him because I know I've disappointed myself looking back on this year of trials and how I handled them.

I did not handle the many trials I had over the past year with grace, appreciation, and certainly not with joy.  I fought them.  I resented them, and I gave up many times.  My faith faltered.  My relationship with God was shaky, and I began to hate who I was.  I have often thought about how (King) David felt running from his trials and hiding in caves.  He certainly wrote some of the most emotional and beautiful psalms during his time of trials.  He wasn't joy-filled about the trials, but he remained joy-filled towards the Lord and Who God is.  I wish I could say the same.

God is not going to stop believing in us.  He's not going to stop loving us, and because of these two things, He is not going to stop testing us.  He doesn't want to see us suffer, but He wants us to see Him in our suffering.  As long as sin is a part of this world, there will be suffering and trials of many kinds.  God wants us to see Him through the suffering and by seeing Him, we can experience pure joy and perseverance.  By doing so, we will become complete and mature, not lacking anything.  Joy and trials don't mix, but a faithful child of God will find joy in the midst of a trial.  Help us, O Lord, to find You and in doing so, joy, in every trial we're facing. Amen.

Fruit, Failure, and Faithfulness

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.  If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned."  John 15:5-6

 

We are the branches.  We are not the vine or the fruit; we are the branches.  We were designed to grow outward from what we are nourished by inward.  Jesus said, "If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit" (verse 5).  Remaining in Him means spending time in His Word, conversing with Him, and building that intimate, personal relationship He so desires for us to have with Him.  When we are nourished inwardly by His Spirit, it produces good fruit outwardly such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).  Our "fruit" is the result of what we are abiding in.

I've been abiding in resentment.  I haven't been abiding in my Christ because I've been resentful towards Him.  The fruit I've bore as a result have been selfishness, laziness, loneliness, impatience, anger, greediness, and pride.  I've not been accepting the life He has given me.  I've been hurt by the choices He's made for me because I haven't understood them. 

No wonder I've been feeling lost.  I haven't been attached to the Vine!  So while I've been attempting to love Jesus and follow Him, I've been failing miserably because I've not remained in Him; and as He said, "Apart from me you can do nothing"  (verse 5).  How true those words are!  If I cannot love Jesus the way He ought to be loved (which can only be done if I'm attached to Love Himself), then I cannot do anything.  I will fail at everything. 

Thankfully, He has not given up on me, and He has gently, patiently pursued me with His truths.  I now see how amazing, loving, and generous He is as a Father; and like a good parent, He has made decisions for me that are in my best interests knowing I wouldn't like them and that I would even be resentful towards him. So, so glad He loves me despite my bratty behavior!

Our omniscient God cares and loves us so much that He desires us to remain in Him.  He knows what is best for us and what kind of fruit looks good on us!  He promises us He has plans that give hope and a future for us, not harm (see Jeremiah 29:11).  Harm does come.  It's a part of being in this sinful world and being sinful people, but He hasn't once failed to keep a promise, and He never will fail.  I know now I must wholeheartedly trust Him even if I don't understand and I don't get what I want.  He knows best.  He doesn't want to see us branches being picked up and thrown into the fire.  No, He wants to see us bear much fruit--the kind of fruit that shows we branches can do anything in Christ!

What He did...

"But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners."

--Romans 5:8

As the lights of the church dimmed tonight, the eerie melody of "Were You There?" sunk into my heart like an anchor in deep water.  Darkness slowly enveloped the whole church, and I felt its heaviness upon me.  I have been attending Good Friday services my entire life, and never have I experienced the overwhelming feelings I did tonight.  It was if I was encountering for the first time what Jesus did for me and how much He really loves me, loves you.

I confess I have not really loved Jesus.  Sure, I have said I love Him, and when convenient, I have shown love for Him.  But I have not truly loved Him.  I am ashamed to admit my unauthentic love.  I am ashamed to think that I would have been one of the crowd, during Jesus' trial and death, who spat on Him, who watched Him suffer, who betrayed Him and mocked Him, and left Him; because, in all honesty, I have.  

I have spat on Him when I have knowingly sinned against Him.  I have watched Him suffer when I grumble about my life.  I have betrayed Him when I didn't and don't show or speak love.  I have mocked Him every time I don't get what I want, and I have left Him when I do things my way.  I have not really loved Him; but, Christ Jesus in His goodness and mercy has--deeply, sincerely, selflessly, unconditionally, sacrificially, and wholeheartedly--loved me, and continues to love me...and you.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, King of Kings, for Your ultimate sacrifice and deep love.  "...Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble."  Forgive me, for I do not know what I do.  Remember me in Paradise.  Finish in me what You have begun here tonight.  I resolve to love You better than I have and to commit to You more of my life.  Amen.

Perfected in Patience

Raise your hand if you LOVE being patient.  Anybody??  How about hearing someone say the word "patience" to you?  No?  How many of you would rather get your teeth pulled than have to be told to wait patiently for what you want in this life?  I see some hands now...oh, my own...

Patience is most certainly a virtue.  It takes sacrifice, submission, and surrendering of oneself's wants to wait.  Patience takes, most of all, strength, and it incredibly builds strength in the process.  Patience is an unnatural quality, but it is a naturally abundant spiritual fruit.  Patient is who God is and who He wants us to be so that He can reveal His glory in us and onto us.  Patience perfects us.

Honestly, I grow weary in patience until God reminds me of why I must wait.  I recently bought a home, my first home purchase.  I began looking for a place almost a year ago when I took a call to Texas.  I had to move in July so that I could begin situating myself in this new calling.  Well, when I moved, I didn't have a place to move to.  It was a week before the movers were coming to collect my things that I received word that a family at my new school said I could stay with them until I found a place.  I felt like Abram being led by God to a foreign land.  And just like in Abram's situation, God provides when He calls.

I had thought I would only be staying with this family for a couple of days until I found somewhere I could move to (these were my own plans).  I ended up staying with them eight months.  I had searched for a home during seven of those eight months, and I became frustrated with God.  I couldn't understand why he would lead me to a place and not give me a home.  Even though I was staying in a very nice place, I was still living out of boxes and not able to really call the place my home.

Thankfully, God's patience endures.  He never ran out of patience with me.  I finally realized my failure to see that God, of course, had His own plan.  I saw that I needed to be patient, and that God is a God of perfection in His plan, in His timing, in His purpose.

When I finally surrendered and became submissive to His will and became patient in my wait for a home, God didn't hesitate because He no longer had to wait on me.  He set everything in motion for me to be secured with the perfect home.

His plan is more than we are capable of seeing.  His timing is impeccable.  His purpose is wonderful and glorious.  To experience His perfection is well worth the wait.

As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.

Luke 8:15

Let God Be God

With a blink of an eye
You move mountains,
one exhale
and the sun rises.
You are God.
And yet, I try to create
You
to fit
me.
I confine
I limit
I humanize
The Almighty
and I become god.
Then I wonder
why
my life falls apart

like paper soaked in water too long
why

 I lose control
(I never had)
why

satisfaction
is too sizes too small

why

love is not enough
to keep people,
why

my soul yearns for truth
as a stomach starving for food

why

my feet move

but I travel nowhere.
O LORD,

You alone are God

the one real thing
the bread of truth
the satisfier of souls
the binding Love
the one in control
holding me together
and impelling my feet 
to go.

Oh! How the mountains move!
And the sun shines!
When I
let God be God.

.AMY.. 2010, revised 2014

Making Old into New

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun."

2 Corinthians 5:17

 

I love taking old things and making them into something new.  I love journals, scrapbooks, and smashbooks.  Therefore, I decided to put my loves together.  I took an old book and made it into a new scrap/smashbook journal.  I used ModPodge, a sponge brush, scrapbook paper, X-acto knife, hot glue, stickers, and other embellishments like ribbon and lace.  (The one you see in the pictures was a gift I created for a friend of mine.)

 

I began by cutting out chunks of pages throughout the book.  The reason I did this was to allow space in the scrapbook.  (It also saved me from gluing a lot of pages together.)  Next, I took my sponge brush and Modpodge and lightly glued pages together.  (Be careful not to get the pages too wet as this will cause the pages to wrinkle.  Smooth out the pages as you glue them.) The amount of pages I glued together varied.  I mostly glued in-between the sections of the chunks I had cut-out.  I glued enough pages together to feel like the adhered pages had some thickness and weight to them. 

 

After I allowed the pages to dry, I took my pre-cut scrapbook paper, which was cut to the size of the book using a page I had cut-out during the first step, and I glued those in on top of the already adhered pages.  I left some of the pages from the original book uncovered to add character to the scrapbook I was creating.

 

Next, I embellished the pages using hot glue, ribbon, stickers, etc.  I also Modpodged and embellished the cover and binding of the book. 

 

Once finished and all had dried, I added a note and some pictures to begin the journaling for my dear friend.  The old became new and personalized.

 

I believe there's something in all of us that loves a good makeover.  The desire to become new comes from within our spirits.  It's the resurrected life we are all searching for.  It's in Christ Jesus alone that this can be found.  Allow Him to cover you with His gracious love, to take away your sins, to embellish you with His glory.  Allow Him to make what was old, new.

 

 

"So if the old way, which has been replaced, was glorious, how much more glorious is the new, which remains forever!"

2 Corinthians 3:11

Satisfaction Guaranteed

"They all ate and were satisfied."

Luke 9: 17

When was the last time you were satisfied?  Satisfaction can last a moment, a meal, a merry time with friends, or maybe it can linger a little longer. 
 
I have been struggling being satisfied with my life.  I have been more ashamed of it than satisfied with it.  Lately I have put more focus on my failures than on my faith.  As a result, I feel incomplete and discontent.  I have not fed my faith and put my total trust in my Jehovah Jireh.  Like the disciples in Luke chapter 9, I have been focusing on my limited amount of knowledge and resources instead on my limitless Lord and resourceful God. 

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. ² We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. ³ Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. ⁴ After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.⁵ And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,

“My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and don’t give up when he corrects you.⁶ For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”

⁷ As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? ⁸ If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. ⁹ Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?¹⁰ For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.¹² So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. ¹³ Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong." (Hebrews 12)

(I love verse 12.  God encourages us to take a new grip, not to let go, and the only way I know how to strengthen weak knees is to spend more time on them!) 

Hebrews 12:1-13 hits the very heart of where we can get satisfaction in the midst of our struggles.  For a "satisfaction guaranteed" life we need to...

1. strip away the things that weigh us down and entangle us (vs. 1)
2. endure (vs.1, 7, 11, 12) 
3. fixate on Jesus (vs. 2-3)
4. keep the right perspective (vs. 4)
5. don't give up (vs. 3-5)
6. embrace discipline and the One who gives it (vs. 5-11)
7. lead others to do what is right and holy (vs. 10, 12-13)

None of this is easy, and easy-living does not equal satisfaction.  Complete, continuing contentment comes from the Lord.  He is the only One who can fill our hearts to the point of when we can sit back, put our hands behind our heads, our feet up, and smile with the thoughts, "Yes, that is good.  That is it.  That is all I need." 

Begin planting these seven seeds, for a peaceful harvest awaits.  Satisfaction guaranteed.