Bitterness is Subtle Tangling of the Soul

I'm ashamed to admit, but I know I must, that I've been bitter towards God.  The veil has been over my eyes these last few weeks; and so, I haven't noticed the bitterness until God revealed it to me this morning through His Word.  Consequently, He tore the veil.  In my despair of this realization (because, really, who am I to be bitter towards God?!), He touched me with the sweetness of His forgiveness and redemption.  How undeserving am I to receive such sweetness!  How grateful I am to have it!  Praise be to God!  Therefore, the least I can do is to share how this bitterness came to be.

Bitterness is like taking your dog for a walk on a clear, sunny day.  Nothing seems out-of-place.  Everything is quite fine.  Then, when you get home and bend down to take off the leash, you discover tiny little burrs all over your dog's soft fur.  Your dog seems not to mind, but you can see the tangled mess the burrs cause.  So, you spend the next hour or two tediously pulling each burr out so that your dog's fur can be silky and soft once more.  Bitterness is subtle tangling of the soul.

I was unaware of it these past few weeks because it began ever so quietly.  It began with not getting what I want. (Oh, how I invited the burrs to cling to my fur!)  It multiplied by comparing myself to others (dissatisfaction added to the bitterness as well as jealousy).  I became tangled even more, then; because as the burrs of bitterness daily clung, I loosened my faith and trust in God and who He is.  How do I know this?  I made these last few weeks all about me. 

For example, I'd been reluctant to spend time with God and serve Him.  In fact, my devotion time wasn't about spending time with Him and investing in that relationship.  It was about getting "my fix" for the day.  The time I gave to God was short and quick.  I wasn't being authentic.  I was using God.  (I've noticed, now, this flaw and pattern in me that when I am bitter towards someone, it's usually because I'm hurt by him or her, and my reaction to that hurt is to use him or her in order to make that hurt go away.  Of course, this approach is a total fiasco.  No healing takes place in this, and no bitterness is removed.) 

To be clear, most certainly God hasn't hurt me in any way.  I have only felt hurt because I am limited in my understanding.  I have not been "trusting in the Lord with all my heart and leaning not on my own understanding" as Proverbs 3:5 so wisely advises me to do.  So, instead of allowing the freshness of trust to comb through me, I've allowed the prickliness of bitterness to cling on. 

God in His goodness and mercy waited until today, when I could sit still, to begin carefully removing the burrs of bitterness from my soul.  He's been so gentle in His approach, and I have been so humbled and grateful as He gingerly and meticulously removes every burr.  Love certainly covers a multitude of sin and untangles it from our souls.  Glory to God, who cares for us to be tangled-free!